It’s All About Respect

Posted on 29. Jun, 2010 by Mark McKinney in Blog, Principles & Ideas

Generally, when we talk about winning in the Relationship Era, we’re referring to the new world landscape where customers control the brand and much as companies, and where the needs and wants of the consumer must be on par with the goals and objectives of the brand.

My agency characterizes this relationship as ME (brand) + YOU (person): Each party on level footing, each with their own interests and agendas, sharing resources and knowledge to create win-win scenarios.

This reminds me of some conversations I have had with people trying to make interpersonal relationships more effective. While those conversations dealt with two people interacting, I think they remain applicable to the “brand plus a person” approach and other similar models. These conversations center on how people can have a respectful relationship with each other, grounded in assertive interaction. Let me take a moment to explain.

Most personal interactions can be classified into three types: Aggressive, Passive, or Assertive. In an Aggressive interaction, one or both parties attempt to put their agenda ahead of the other person’s. Think of it as someone shouting, “It’s my turn!” Trouble is, it is always this person’s turn. Sometimes brands take this position, and it looks like this: “Sure, you have needs, but you need to understand how my product/service meets an even more important need, and you need to prioritize buying stuff form me above all else (sucker).” The aggressive approach does not earn Respect, but will garner its distant cousin, Attention.

When a person adopts a passive approach, he basically puts his needs second to everyone else’s. Think of this person asking meekly “When will it be my turn?” Trouble here is that it is never this person’s turn, and that leads to frustration, which eventually gets manifested as passive/aggressive anger. A brand with a passive approach will adopt a very subservient position – “Anything you want, sir” but will later bait and switch or engage in other passive/aggressive tactics. The passive approach also does not earn Respect (think of how you feel about people like this), but instead seeks Approval.

Finally, some people engage in Assertive relationships. In an Assertive relationship, the parties both say “Let’s take turns.” Both parties are honest and upfront about their needs and abilities. No spin doctoring at all. This is the position we encourage brands to take in the Relationship Era, working with their customers to meet each others’ needs in a cooperative and transparent fashion, while making sure each party’s interests are kept at the forefront.

As brands continue to find ways to increase people’s Trust, they can also work to earn people’s Respect through being assertive, not aggressive or passive.

Tags: interaction, marketing, relationships, respect

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